A Letter to my 16 year old Self!

Dear Pooja,

Everything is a mess right now. I know your life is in complete chaos but it’s okay. There are going to be difficult times in the coming years too, and it’s absolutely fine. I am aware that it’s pretty difficult for you to think positive, have faith and belief that everything will be alright, because, after all you’re just 16. Looking towards the bright side is something you’re unable to do but trust me you’re are going to grow through it all. There will be times it’ll be messier than this but let me tell you that you have no idea how stronger you’re going to be. You have absolutely no idea that you can and will be finding your own ways out without losing your respect or dignity.

 

You are super worried about your grades and are clueless about what you will be opting for after the boards. The thought of not knowing what your next step should be whereas everyone else is sure of theirs is going to give you sleepless nights. Just opt for Arts in the first go. That is where you belong. That is what will be leading you to your purpose. There is this super huge confusion in choosing between Science, Commerce & Arts and I’m so proud and happy that after a little chat with your mama, you chose what your inner self has been telling you to choose. Sleepless nights and mental pressure will strike again once you complete your graduation. There will be a huge question mark right there in front of you. Everyone around you seems to have things pretty clear and sorted and you are in the middle of nowhere and again I couldn’t be prouder that this time you have figured your own way, your path all by yourself and you will be happy with the decision you have taken.

 

When you look around, you see people having their stuff in order, their goals and their paths set, everything well planned. You see they’ve got this amazing set of friends who stick by them and on the contrary, when no one’s home, you just sit in your kitchen in the dark, in front of your mandir with just the diya light burning questioning yourself and God that why are things the opposite for you. You are yet to have your stuff in order, yet to figure out your goals, you have trusted the wrong people, you’ve been deceived, you’ve made the wrong choices and wrong decisions, loved when you shouldn’t have had, you’ve been ditched by your best friend, have hurt your parents and your family and everything is just haywire. An extrovert, outgoing girl, and yet you feel all alone at times. But trust me, have Patience. I promise that this won’t continue for long. As you grow, you are being this strong, independent girl who makes her choices, owns up to them whether right or wrong, is constantly falling and getting up and most importantly, has this bunch of people who are no less than a family.

 

Stop crying over people who wouldn’t even matter to you in the next 5 years and thank God for your heartbreak. No matter how much gyaan others give, you’ll only get better through your own experiences.  You might think that you are dumb or the people around you might make you feel dumb for your idea of Love, but honestly, you’re not. Call yourself old school but I am super super proud of you of always, always sticking by your grounds, morals and principles. Also, do not stop loving! Love Unconditionally.

 

You are at a stage where you’ve been thinking that you are just good for nothing. But Pooja, trust me, you have no idea what you are transforming into. It’s pretty difficult for you to believe in this at the moment, but yes, by the time you complete your graduation, you would have explored so many niches already. You’ll be enjoying the process of figuring out your purpose. Internships, work, travel, Rotaract will just be keeping you on your toes. You are not sure of what to do with your time now, but within 5 years you’ll have no breathing time and you love being busy and working. This is something you’ve chosen and something you enjoy completely. You’ll be completely busy and engrossed in.

 

You will feel dejected and belittled because when others are doing such great things, you aren’t even an inspiration to your younger sister. But wait. Don’t give up, keep working hard. You are going to make your family proud and everyone around you will look up to you. You’ll be surrounded by people who are super proud of you and those who will continue to love you for the way you are. Lastly, Trust the Universe, Trust God. More importantly just be and experience everything, the good, the worst. This pain won’t last long. This is your journey and it’s just amazing how you’ve traveled on your own so far and you will continue to do so. Take pride in your accomplishments, your failures because they are all yours. I’m sure you’ll know when to Let Go & when to Hold On.

You are your own hero.

 

With Love,

Your 21 year old self.